THE GIFT OF ADVERSITY

LESSONS IN BOUNCING BACK STRONGER

Category Archives: Life Lessons

What TO SAY and what NOT to say to a depressed person (10 phrases you can use)

    What you CAN’T say to a depressed person. (AVOID)


1. There are people worse off than you, what do you have to be depressed about?
2. No one ever said life was fair.
3. Just stop feeling sorry for yourself.
4. Snap out of it.
5. I feel the same when things don’t go right for me.
6. It’s all in your head.
7. Can’t you just think positively?
8. Just go out and have some fun!
9. We all get sad sometimes.
10. Don’t take medication, you don’t wanna get hooked and rely on those depression pills.

Sometimes, it is the ones closest to you that might say these things. They are really only trying to help, they just don’t know how to. Of course they don’t want to see their loved one down. Print this out for them if you must.

    10 things you CAN say to a depressed person.

1. “I’m here for you.”
2. “You are allowed to talk about and feel what you like, I’m listening. I may not understand, but I’m listening.”
3. “To me you are important. Do you want a hug?”
4. “You are not alone.. you are not going crazy.”
5. “We can get through this. I will be here for you as long as you need.”
6. “I want to be here for you. You can talk when you’re ready.”
7. “I’m not going to abandon you, I love you. (only say this if true)”
8. “I know you mightn’t want help, but I want you to be around for a while yet. Would you like me to help you with anything? I’m really happy to..”
9. “Would you like to come to the movies? Or I’ll bring around a DVD and popcorn and we can just chill?”
10. “Depression is a real issue. It is a real disease. You might have the disease, but you are not the disease. It can be beaten”

Remember, there are many of us suffering who DO understand what you may be going through. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

On Being Chosen

I didn’t choose to have the gift of adversity, it chose me. The things I’ve done and seen have created the perfect conditions for becoming the person I intend to be.

It’s perfect for helping me, us, to enact positive change.

It is, and always was, perfect.

To Err Is To Be Human…

To err is to be human, as the saying goes.

What if you knew you were making a mistake before you made the decision? Or at least you were ‘iffy’?

Well, guess what? We can’t rewind time. What happened yesterday is unchangeable. How we deal with it now is the only important element.

In a way, tomorrow doesn’t matter much either. It’s not here yet. Why worry about something that has the possibility to change?

So, what’s happening right now? And what do you need to do to feel happiness right now? (Without being destructive toward yourself or others).

Embrace the now.

20120129-163941.jpg

Wayne Dyer on Inspiration vs. Information. Point to Yourself!

The true meaning of inspiration, in a world of information.

“When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds. Your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new and great and wonderful world.

Dormant forces, faculties and talents come alive and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you dreamed yourself to be.”

Patanjali

I am listening to Dr. Wayne Dyer on an audio called “New Dimensions: You Can Do Anything” available on iTunes. His interpretation of inspiration is particularly enchanting.

We live in a world that has an abundance of information. We can find out nearly anything we would like to know instantly, which has helped many people fake knowledge and experience, and privacy is being compromised. However, we have a deficit of spirit. We don’t have enough people engaging in a labour of love, and helping their fellow man. Originally, the word inspiration comes from the meaning ‘to be in spirit’. Dr. Dyer likened it to seeing Pavarotti in concert. His face in mid note was the definition of love. Pavarotti wasn’t selling the music, he was selling the love and the passion he had for it. The world’s greatest tenor was absolutely engaged in a labour of love.

Read the quote by Patanjali again.

To achieve this, what we have to do is become inspired, that is, move into the world of spirit. Ego has no place in this realm. You are not what you own, or what your job title describes, or even what flattering things people may say about you.

Point to yourself.

No, really, point to yourself.

Where did you point?

Ninety-nine people out of 100 point to their heart, not their head. Take notice.

I would like to leave you on this quote:

“If you knew who walked beside you at all times on this path that you have chosen, you could never experience fear or doubt again.”
A Course In Miracles

Follow your heart.

Do you procrastinate?

Am I the only one who suffers from severe procrastination?

“Do or do not, there is no try – Yoda

I always meant to read books. I’d start reading one, and then I’d get bored with it. I’d finish the whole thing ‘one day’. Until not long ago, I could count on my left hand how many books I’d completed. I owned about 200. I’m still trying to get rid of them.

What is it that gets between me and seeing something through to the end? It’s almost like having a phobia against actually finishing a project or task, and I didn’t know if it was because I was scared of the results or just plain lazy?

There is one enemy of progress that I do know about, and that is routine.

We think we feel most comfortable in a simple routine. Don’t get me wrong, I love my routine, but one pattern I’ve seen emerging is that I achieve multiple times more on any given task when I interrupt a routine at least every 14 days.

I know, it is much easier said than done if you have bills to pay and responsibilities.

I also know the difference it makes to your life when a good spanner or two are thrown in the works.

I’ve had that sickly feeling when your car is on empty and you’re pulling into to fuel station with the princely sum of $20 to your name.

But that feeling of sheer relief and gratification when you pull up to the bowser with a ‘fill ‘er up!’… Try doing that without a smile from ear to ear.

Stop Stealing Dreams by Seth Godin

Stop Stealing Dreams (click here for full essay) is a 30,000 odd word mammoth by Seth Godin on fixing the way we educate school children. It is very U.S centric and quite long, nonetheless he has some very interesting ideas.

I felt compelled to share this quick excerpt with you:


Whose dream?

There’s a generational problem here, a paralyzing one.

Parents were raised to have a dream for their kids—we want our kids to be happy, adjusted, successful. We want them to live meaningful lives, to contribute and to find stability as they avoid pain.

Our dream for our kids, the dream of 1960 and 1970 and even 1980, is for the successful student, the famous college, and the good job. Our dream for our kids is the nice house and the happy family and the steady career. And the ticket for all that is good grades, excellent comportment, and a famous college.

And now that dream is gone. Our dream. But it’s not clear that our dream really matters. There’s a different dream available, one that’s actually closer to who we are as humans, that’s more exciting and significantly more likely to affect the world in a positive way.

When we let our kids dream, encourage them to contribute, and push them to do work that matters, we open doors for them that will lead to places that are difficult for us to imagine. When we turn school into more than just a finishing school for a factory job, we enable a new generation to achieve things that we were ill-prepared for.

Our job is obvious: we need to get out of the way, shine a light, and empower a new generation to teach itself and to go further and faster than any generation ever has. Either our economy gets cleaner, faster, and more fair, or it dies.

If school is worth the effort (and I think it is), then we must put the effort into developing attributes that matter and stop burning our resources in a futile attempt to create or reinforce mass compliance.

Napoleon Hill & Adversity As A ‘Gift’ – The Purpose and Inspiration Of This Project

Napoleon Hill (October 26, 1883 – November 8, 1970) was a revolutionary philosopher in authoring success principles. He interviewed over 500 successful men and women over a 20 year period and documented his findings first in ‘The Law of Success’ (1928), followed by his most notable work ‘Think And Grow Rich’ (1937), and ‘Success Through A Positive Mental Attitude’ (1960) along with other notable works such as the audio ‘The Science Of Personal Achievement’.

The Gift of Adversity comes from a quote by Dr. Hill:

‘Nothing is ever taken from anyone without something of equal or greater benefit to take its place. It is a Law of Infinite Intelligence’

Napoleon Hill had a son, Blair, who was born with no sign of ears, and was told by the delivering doctors that his son would go through life as a deaf mute. Dr. Hill refused to accept his condition as an affliction, and worked on Blair for many hours per day, talking to him, praying and meditating with him. Napoleon kept this up until Blair was around 3, when suddenly Dr. Hill could snap his fingers behind Blair’s head and he would turn around to see where the noise came from.

Later in life, Dr. Hill was contacted by a university whom had heard of the peculiar case of Blair Hill, and asked if Blair could trial a hearing aid. At this stage, Blair had 65% of his hearing, the only known case in the world of an earless person being able to hear. With the hearing aid, he gained the other 35% of his hearing. Blair went on to become a very successful business man, and Napoleon said that because of Blair’s affliction, people would go out of their way to be nice to him, and would hear his sales ‘pitch’, which is exactly what happened.

 

20120224-190314.jpg